Miscellany

I was just planning on checking up on bills...and now I have about 15 windows open. Nope, not my new favorite toy, StumbleUpon. I simply looked through the "hot stories" on att.net (the homepage on the desktop). And then things led me to other things and videos and such. I have so much I want to share with you!

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As much as I try to hate it, I can't help but fall for KE$HA's "Tik Tok." I am completely against the stupid computerized voice phenomenon and there's about 1 minute total of actual singing in the song, but I can't help but bob my head when I hear it. My only solace is the fact that it will likely be a one-hit wonder. (Or, alternatively, the rest of her album will showcase some actual talent.) I'm going to surf over to her myspace page and listen to some of her other stuff...and satisfy my curiosity. If you have a minute to waste, take a look at her "musical influences" and try to tell me it's not all bullshit. Wow.

"Blah Blah Blah": Just as produced as the first. Very fitting title. Very bad.

"Your Love is My Drug": Very trite "love" story with elementary rhymes. Ouch.

"Take It Off": Another guilty pleasure. Will likely be a dance club hit.

"Stephen": This song had potential, before the producers decided to mix pop effects with KE$HA's annoying talk-singing, not to mention the electronically-altered harmony. (Honestly guys, it's okay to use background singers that are NOT other tracks of the lead singer.) This song would be much improved with a slower tempo, REAL singing, and perhaps more traditional orchestration--strings, piano? The lyrics to this song are supposed to express pain and loss, but the music does not convey that.

"Backstabber": This is actually works really well. The husky, intimate voice shifts over to a defiant shout. I feel like there could have been more dynamics, but there are very few pop songs (even successful ones) that truly use volume to their advantage.

So, final verdict? I will not be pursuing this artist...but I will probably dance just like the rest of them when it comes on in the club.

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Before I made it to MySpace/ke$ha, I took a look at one of YouTube's "related" videos. Apparently Tay Zonday (Google it, if this name is unfamiliar) pulled a William Hung and "polished" his awesomely bad classic into "Cherry Chocolate Rain." Very very lame. Definitely proves to me (for the second time) that I have no further interest in Tay Zonday aside from than "Chocolate Rain" and its parodies...

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As KE$HA's music continues to play (until I gouge out my eardrums, anyway), I'm going to whittle down my Firefox tabs. First, Askmen.com's "Top 10 Video Games We'd Like to See in 3-D."
     10. Assassin's Creed II
      9. Bayonetta
      8. Final Fantasy XIII
      7. Super Mario Galaxy
      6. Gran Turisimo 5
      5. StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty
      4. Heavy Rain [in development]
      3. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
      2. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
      1. Bioshock 2

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Halfway through the previous list, I checked out Grace Jones on MySpace. They call her the new dance queen or something similar. Now, I've never truly been to a dance club so I had no idea [until Independent told me on Jones' MySpace] that she's been around since the '80s. Let's see what all the fuss is about.

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Proof that I haven't been watching/listening to/reading E!/Entertainment Tonight/EW/People/Entertainment reports on the radio: I had no idea that Katy Perry & Russell Brand were dating, let alone engaged. Not that anyone really cares, but I just thought it strange to discover how dark it is under this rock I live beneath.

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Thank you, Yahoo, for giving this caption to a photo of Jay Leno:

"So Jay Leno got his old show back. Looks like we're going to be treated to more stale jokes from the past-his-prime comedian for the next millennium! In an attempt to salvage his tarnished image, Leno will be the featured entertainer at the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner on May 1."

Considering Obama is/was a Conan fan through everything (except, perhaps, his administration's choice--3 months ago--to hire Leno as the emcee of the aforementioned dinner), I predict Leno's reception at the White House will be just as cold as on NBC.

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While reading a blurb about Hayden Panatierre's "newsworthy" dye job -- she's now a redhead, which looks silly with her skin tone, a few words stuck out on side of the page:

Price PENS tune about Minnesota Vikings

Tents ERECTED around SEX clinic reportedly housing TIGER WOODS

That alone was enough to make me LI (laugh inside) quite furiously.

...Looking a bit closer at the right column which housed these "news" stories, I found a title that was legitimately inappropriate:

Reporter Tries to Grab David Beckham's Crotch in Bizarre Stunt

Oh, how deep in the gutter my brain is submerged...

That comment didn't help the situation.

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U.S. News & Report compiled a list of 21 Things We're Learning to Live Without. Check it out and let me know what you think:

1. Monthly Payments
2. Window Shopping
3. Bells and Whistles
4. Clutter
5. Cable TV
6. Home Phone
7. Privacy
8. Prepared Foods
9. Tupperware Parties
10. Packaged Cigarettes
11. Lattes
12. Guilt
13. Extra Calories
14. Newspapers and Magazines
15. Healthcare
16. New Gifts
17. New Cars
18. Comfort
19. Daily Commute
20. Fancy Dates
21. Debt

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Askmen.com's "Top 99 Women 2010 Edition"

99. Jamie-Lynn Sigler
98. Arianny Celeste (MMA Octagon Girl)
97. Sasha Grey (XXX)
96. Diora Baird (Wedding Crashers)
95. Erin Burnett (CNBC)
94. Alexa Chung (MTV)
93. Audrey Tautou (Amelie, DaVinci Code)
92. Carey Mulligan (An Education, Brothers, Pride & Prejudice--KITTY!)
91. Julia Allison (Nonsociety.com)
90. Carrie Underwood
89. Denise Milani (model)
88. Angelina Jolie
87. Maria Menounos
86. Kristen Wiig
85. Blake Lively
84. Cate Blanchett
83. Diane Kruger (Inglourious Basterds)
82. Jessica Simpson
81. Whitney Port (The Hills)
80. Selita Ebanks (Victoria's Secret)
79. Anna Paquin
78. Chelsea Handler
77. Joanna Krupa (model)
76. Kristen Bell
75. Leighton Meester
74. Eva Longoria
73. Alesha Dixon (singer/entertainer)
72.Ana Ivanovic (tennis player)
71. Sophie Monk (actress)
70. Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica)
69. Leona Lewis
68. Gina Carano (Female MMA)
67. Izabel Goulart (Victoria's Secret model)
66. Halle Berry
65. Maria Sharapova (tennis)
64. Jennifer Hawkins (Miss Universe 2004)
63. Aishwarya Rai (Bollywood actress, Miss World 2004)
62. Ivanka Trump
61. Anne Hathaway
60. Eliza Dushku (Dollhouse)
59. Coco Rocha (model)
58. Christina Hendricks (Mad Men)
57. Lucy Pinder (model)
56. Rihanna
55. Emma Watson (Harry Potter)
54. Marion Cotillard (Big Fish, La vie en rose)
53. Emily Blunt (actress)
52. Holly Weber (model/actress)
51. Taylor Swift
50. Freida Pinto (Slumdog Millionaire)
49. Olivia Wilde (House)
48. Megan Gale (model)
47. Brooke Burke
46. Grace Park (Battlestar Galactica)
45. Lakshmi Menon (model)
44. Emily Scott (model)
43. Elisabetta Canalis (George Clooney's g/f)
42. Kim Kardashian
41. Ashley Greene (Alice in Twilight)
40. Zooey Deschanel
39. Emma Stone (Superbad)
38. Shakira
37. Giada De Laurentiis (Everyday Italian)
36. Katy Perry
35. Audrina Patridge (The Hills)
34. Salma Hayek
33. Zoe Saldana (J.J. Abram's Star Trek)
32. Mila Kunis
31. Brooklyn Decker (model/actress)
30. Olivia Munn (Attack of the Show)
29. Odette Yustman (model/actress)
28. Heidi Klum
27. Jessica Biel
26. Malin Akerman (Watchmen, The Proposal)
25. Layla Kayleigh (ex-host of "The Feed" on Attack of the Show)
24. Adriana Lima (Victoria's Secret model)
23. Scarlett Johannson
22. Keeley Hazell (model)
21. Kristen Stewart
20. Paz Vega (Spanglish, The Spirit)
19. Monica Bellucci (The Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions)
18. January Jones (Mad Men)
17. Natalie Portman
16. Kelly Brook (model, entertainer)
15. Padma Lakshmi (model, cook)
14. Erin Andrews (ESPN)
13. Bar Refaeli (model)
12. Gisele Bundchen
11. Megan Fox
10. Miranda Kerr (Victoria's Secret)
9. Eva Mendes
8. Cheryl Cole (singer, X-Factor judge)
7. Penelope Cruz
6. Beyonce
5. Jessica Alba
4. Alessandra Ambrosio (Victoria's Secret)
3. Kate Beckinsale
2. Marisa Miller (Victoria's Secret)
1. Emmanuelle Chriqui (Entourage)


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The Pulmanator was 100% right about FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE. And the Brit Awards was right to nominate PIXIE LOTT three times.