it's not been an everyday thing
and a few of the days were simply gibberish
the problem is i keep starting to type
starting to open my mind
when i'm getting tired.
i need to do better next week
i need to write/blog daily
morningly
so i suppose i could commit to 30m every morning
that doesn't sound like much
but i need to start a habit
21 days, they say
and 30m could be done
somewhere in a gap between
dog empty/refill
coffee
ready for work
work.
i have been filling in empty time
with a silly computer game
and streaming videos
so morning will go as shown above
we will see how that goes
i really am tired
but i'm going to count this
even though it's just more gibberish
Friday, January 19, 2018
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
cerebral roads left untraveled, dust of sleep thick upon them like moss upon the tree
i've let myself down again
but i just need to pick myself back up again and move
and yet right now i'm pretty damn tired so i'm gonna bail.
i went to a WABE panel about how government (specifically at the state level) works. it was informative, though "just the tip." [i'd like to continue deepening my knowledge] started reading anne of avonlea [on e-book] even though i was [am?] pretty confident i preferred [prefer] paper. i'm ready to get to her romance with gilbert. i've been really hung up on period romances lately. but trashy romances are not appealing so i have to find something where the relationship [the heat] grows
perhaps i should write some.
i've wanted to brush up my history but perhaps that's too hard to surmount. didn't i say i was tired? because i am.
g'nite, future me.
but i just need to pick myself back up again and move
and yet right now i'm pretty damn tired so i'm gonna bail.
i went to a WABE panel about how government (specifically at the state level) works. it was informative, though "just the tip." [i'd like to continue deepening my knowledge] started reading anne of avonlea [on e-book] even though i was [am?] pretty confident i preferred [prefer] paper. i'm ready to get to her romance with gilbert. i've been really hung up on period romances lately. but trashy romances are not appealing so i have to find something where the relationship [the heat] grows
perhaps i should write some.
i've wanted to brush up my history but perhaps that's too hard to surmount. didn't i say i was tired? because i am.
g'nite, future me.
Sunday, January 7, 2018
Verbal Diarrhea
I'd like to start by beginning.
No excuses.
No long stories to soften the blow of my absence.
(If this writing to an audience is merely a delusion, I choose to believe you missed me.)
So we begin.
...
Yesterday (01/07/18) felt a bit wasted, though I got a few things done. I suppose I feel guilty because I spent six hours in front of Elvenar, a fantasy city-building game that is incredibly addictive. I'm sure there's psychology to that and I could probably research it like I do for the other blog (Ms. Window Shopper) but I need to keep moving.
I can't purge if I don't let go.
Around 2ish I decided I should move, so I took a shower. I changed back into my pajamas when I got out, but I took a shower and that's what counts. Realized I was hungry so I made a second cup of coffee and three breakfast burritos. They were acceptable but nowhere near as incredible as I could create with intention and focus.
What do I want to make for dinner tomorrow?
Oooh. Sausage Party.
Tomorrow is band practice and it's cold in my house so I guess we'll be playing music upstairs. Which is fine except it's messy up here. But I'm blessed with several large closets so it will clean enough soon.
Truth is hilarious. It's nice to be unashamed. Though I suppose I'm probably self-inflicting this anguish.
I keep getting off-topic, though I suppose that's what journaling is supposed to do: clear out the thoughts weighing down your mind. In the same way that talking to someone else can help you work out your problems and develop better solutions, talking to yourself or whatever echo you hear bouncing back from the walls you erect around yourself is cathartic.Not sure why I'm explaining the idea of journaling to myself, except that I seem to have forgotten.
Problem is, I can get lost in my mind and there are other things I'd like to accomplish before I succumb to sleep. (I should sleep as I work in the morning and generally hear the Circadian alarm around 5am regardless of how long I've had my eyelids closed.) So I should probably set a timer next time.
Ok, timer starts now and I am giving myself 12 minutes (because 12:45 is easier to remember).
Anyhow, after the eventful elven experience, I started reading Anne of Green Gables, watched Star Trek: The Next Generation, and wrote four blog posts. Did a little shuffling around of papers and collected a bag of trash. Then read more of the book.
Really enjoying it, just as much as I did in my youth. Perhaps more, as I can see and feel it all so vividly. I'm very grateful for the digital telephonic device I keep nearby, which has allowed me to quickly retrieve images of trees and flowers mid-sentence. I have an increased appreciation for and understanding of Snow Queen.
After all that, it was quite late. It was a single digit, but I decided I'd like to read one more chapter. So I did. Thereafter, I understood I was growing weary -- so turned on some TNG and dozed off in the middle of a Dr. Crusher monologue.
I should probably write to you aobut today, but I'm tired and it's 12:45 so I guess now is the time to end it. Ta-ta!
No excuses.
No long stories to soften the blow of my absence.
(If this writing to an audience is merely a delusion, I choose to believe you missed me.)
So we begin.
...
Yesterday (01/07/18) felt a bit wasted, though I got a few things done. I suppose I feel guilty because I spent six hours in front of Elvenar, a fantasy city-building game that is incredibly addictive. I'm sure there's psychology to that and I could probably research it like I do for the other blog (Ms. Window Shopper) but I need to keep moving.
I can't purge if I don't let go.
Around 2ish I decided I should move, so I took a shower. I changed back into my pajamas when I got out, but I took a shower and that's what counts. Realized I was hungry so I made a second cup of coffee and three breakfast burritos. They were acceptable but nowhere near as incredible as I could create with intention and focus.
What do I want to make for dinner tomorrow?
Oooh. Sausage Party.
Tomorrow is band practice and it's cold in my house so I guess we'll be playing music upstairs. Which is fine except it's messy up here. But I'm blessed with several large closets so it will clean enough soon.
Truth is hilarious. It's nice to be unashamed. Though I suppose I'm probably self-inflicting this anguish.
I keep getting off-topic, though I suppose that's what journaling is supposed to do: clear out the thoughts weighing down your mind. In the same way that talking to someone else can help you work out your problems and develop better solutions, talking to yourself or whatever echo you hear bouncing back from the walls you erect around yourself is cathartic.Not sure why I'm explaining the idea of journaling to myself, except that I seem to have forgotten.
Problem is, I can get lost in my mind and there are other things I'd like to accomplish before I succumb to sleep. (I should sleep as I work in the morning and generally hear the Circadian alarm around 5am regardless of how long I've had my eyelids closed.) So I should probably set a timer next time.
Ok, timer starts now and I am giving myself 12 minutes (because 12:45 is easier to remember).
Anyhow, after the eventful elven experience, I started reading Anne of Green Gables, watched Star Trek: The Next Generation, and wrote four blog posts. Did a little shuffling around of papers and collected a bag of trash. Then read more of the book.
Really enjoying it, just as much as I did in my youth. Perhaps more, as I can see and feel it all so vividly. I'm very grateful for the digital telephonic device I keep nearby, which has allowed me to quickly retrieve images of trees and flowers mid-sentence. I have an increased appreciation for and understanding of Snow Queen.
After all that, it was quite late. It was a single digit, but I decided I'd like to read one more chapter. So I did. Thereafter, I understood I was growing weary -- so turned on some TNG and dozed off in the middle of a Dr. Crusher monologue.
I should probably write to you aobut today, but I'm tired and it's 12:45 so I guess now is the time to end it. Ta-ta!
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