Back again

Trying to make a habit of this and I'll admit that my habits are getting better as I get older and realize how stupid an unproductive lifestyle is. Sure, we may only be on this earth for a finite time and YOLO (blegh) but I need to grow up and get into the pattern of paying bills and doing things that will make my down time more satisfying. Who wants to hang around the house when there are dishes in the sink? Maybe it's just me on this one, but it fucks with my chi to have a mess. That being said, there are several in the house. Clothes that need to be washed and folded. Dishes that need to be cleaned. Dinner that needs to be made. But I guess there's a stubborn little girl still inside me pouting (or maybe that's the Palmer hardheadedness my mother scoffs at Dad for all the time)...because my husband was off all day and didn't touch any of it. Why should it always fall to me? Not that he doesn't help; he's great when he's motivated. But it's taking more and more prodding as time goes by and I don't have any desire to do things on my own -- fuck traditional gender roles. Actually, fuck my previous fuck. If he did the yard work, I'd feel more guilt at the unfolded clothes, unwashed dishes, and unmade bed. I know he's playing practicing with three bands but I would just feel so much less bogged down if we'd spare twenty minutes a day to tidy up the place. Maybe just focus on one room together so the house wasn't such a shithole. I wish I were Little Miss Perfect and could accomplish everything I wanted to do and function on four hours of sleep and make the house immaculate. But I'd have to sacrifice everything else to make that happen and I really can't completely put myself at the bottom of my list of priorities if I hope to live past 30. How do I broach the topic with Jason, especially given that I have spent many an off-day glued to Netflix and completely neglecting housework? I've been indirect about it and general, as I tend to do at work (WE need to do this...WE have to get into the habit of doing that). And I know just how well that works, as there's no follow-up on this stuff. But can I really apply my growing business management finesse to my marriage? I don't want him to feel like I'm the boss so I'm treading on shaky ground (though HIMYM suggests there's always a boss). But I feel like if one of us doesn't take charge and ensure shit gets done, it won't -- as has been the case thus far. So I guess I'm going to attempt to manage my marriage, though I am unsure how to approach the topic (subtlety is a woman's art, I suppose). How do I broach the topic of SHARING responsibilities without nagging. Thinking...

Sunday

Listening to my "Cool" playlist on Spotify and working on the FUN items on my to-do list:

• Blog on Internal Externalized
• Blog on Mrs. Window Shopper
• Blog on One-a-Day
• Make signs for work

After which I might try the less-enjoyable items:

• Laundry
• Dishes
• Mop
• Clean

After which I might allow myself to do what I want to most of all but have already spent three hours doing that I could have spent accomplishing things on these lists:

•  Read Game of Thrones

Yeah, I finally cracked open the book I bought for my July flight to Detroit. And, as you'd expect from a girl who binged on 11,000 words of Robert Jordan (and is currently salivating in anticipation for January's concluding tome), I am enjoying it thoroughly. Mayhaps I'll jot down some thoughts on Literary Echoes (a blog in hibernation mode these days) when I complete Book One.

So I've got too many blogs and too much talent to let them go unused. I am going to toot that horn, even if you think I shouldn't. I've come to the realization (with loads of help with innately-empowered individuals) that I need to self-promote. Humility is good and well, but life is too short and this world is too unforgiving to lie down and get walked on all the time. (Though I'm not averse to doing that when the situation calls for my sacrifice for the greater good -- though I will help judge the situation as such.)

I don't know that I'll advertise this, my journal, as vigorously as the others. This bit of electronic space is my own place when I need it to be -- a place to bitch about stuff that's bothering me and a place to rave about things that get me going (though privacy settings may very well come into play on occasion). I want this blog to be less about form and theme and more about getting petty words out of my brain so they don't choke the more productive ones that take root there.

Sometimes there's gold buried under a pile of shit (particularly when your dog has snacked from your jewelry case). So -- like anything else, I suppose -- my words might be a waste of our time some days. But then again, maybe not.

A few quick pieces of news to be revisited and expanded upon in the next few days I'm sure:

• Jason (hubby) and I got a new puppy. She's half-American Bulldog, half-Sharpei and, at 15 weeks, already weighs 35 pounds. Her name is Kara, but she may earn her pilot wings with hard work (potty training?) and become Starbuck one day...
• I just received word that I'm to be promoted from Head Cashier/Service Desk (my job at Home Depot for 8 years) to Electrical Department Head! I don't officially start until the week of Halloween, but I am going to start cramming, like, yesterday...as there's a lot to learn.
• About to start the second month as a member of LA Fitness and am still working on developing a habit of going. I went five days the first week of October but only made it twice last week. Jumping back on that horse tomorrow to hit up a few classes.