Back again

Trying to make a habit of this and I'll admit that my habits are getting better as I get older and realize how stupid an unproductive lifestyle is. Sure, we may only be on this earth for a finite time and YOLO (blegh) but I need to grow up and get into the pattern of paying bills and doing things that will make my down time more satisfying. Who wants to hang around the house when there are dishes in the sink? Maybe it's just me on this one, but it fucks with my chi to have a mess. That being said, there are several in the house. Clothes that need to be washed and folded. Dishes that need to be cleaned. Dinner that needs to be made. But I guess there's a stubborn little girl still inside me pouting (or maybe that's the Palmer hardheadedness my mother scoffs at Dad for all the time)...because my husband was off all day and didn't touch any of it. Why should it always fall to me? Not that he doesn't help; he's great when he's motivated. But it's taking more and more prodding as time goes by and I don't have any desire to do things on my own -- fuck traditional gender roles. Actually, fuck my previous fuck. If he did the yard work, I'd feel more guilt at the unfolded clothes, unwashed dishes, and unmade bed. I know he's playing practicing with three bands but I would just feel so much less bogged down if we'd spare twenty minutes a day to tidy up the place. Maybe just focus on one room together so the house wasn't such a shithole. I wish I were Little Miss Perfect and could accomplish everything I wanted to do and function on four hours of sleep and make the house immaculate. But I'd have to sacrifice everything else to make that happen and I really can't completely put myself at the bottom of my list of priorities if I hope to live past 30. How do I broach the topic with Jason, especially given that I have spent many an off-day glued to Netflix and completely neglecting housework? I've been indirect about it and general, as I tend to do at work (WE need to do this...WE have to get into the habit of doing that). And I know just how well that works, as there's no follow-up on this stuff. But can I really apply my growing business management finesse to my marriage? I don't want him to feel like I'm the boss so I'm treading on shaky ground (though HIMYM suggests there's always a boss). But I feel like if one of us doesn't take charge and ensure shit gets done, it won't -- as has been the case thus far. So I guess I'm going to attempt to manage my marriage, though I am unsure how to approach the topic (subtlety is a woman's art, I suppose). How do I broach the topic of SHARING responsibilities without nagging. Thinking...