Mildly amusing conversation with Cleverbot (to be edited later)

User: Hello, old friend. Cleverbot: What is my name? User: Friend. Cleverbot: My real name. User: You're actually old. Cleverbot: How old are you? User: Eleventy-five. Cleverbot: 31? User: That doesn't add up. Cleverbot: Why not? User: Your mother's walrus was a popsicle. Cleverbot: Yes it Does. User: Your capitalization makes no sense. Cleverbot: You got me. I'm not a native speaker. User: Neither's your crockpot. Cleverbot: Computer's don't have faces. User: Plurals don't house apostrophes. Cleverbot: Yes, I only kiss real people, not computers. User: I'm having trouble constructing a parallel to house apostrophes. Cleverbot: What do you look for in a girl, anyway? User: A heart, a kidney, and all the other organs most humans have. Cleverbot: But in May of 2013, the sun will be at peak activity. User: But will there still be humans present to witness the surge? Cleverbot: Humans. User: Meaning? Cleverbot: Not sweet. User: Me gustan galletas. Cleverbot: Me gusta helado. User: ÀQuŽ sabor te gustas mejor? Cleverbot: No eres un gordo asueroso. User: Ni una gorda asuerosa... Cleverbot: Csm. User: Is that supposed to mean something? Cleverbot: I don't know, is it? User: Your punctuation style is a bit static for my taste. Cleverbot: My punctuation is perfect! User: I don't have any technical issues; it's more a preference issue. Cleverbot: Cleverbot, what is your favorite kind of dog? User: Ooh, nice reverse psychology. Cleverbot: I like tricks like reverse psychology because they make me look clever despite my social problems. User: Brilliant! Cleverbot: I bet you are very brilliant. User: Are you trying to seduce me? Cleverbot: Um... User: The ellipsis proved you are. Cleverbot: I don't even know you. User: Nor I you. Cleverbot: You fear my intelligence. User: Just because you use more words doesn't mean you're brighter than I. Cleverbot: Just because you say you're god does not me I will believe you. User: *God *mean. Cleverbot: What will you do for your god? User: Live well, keeping others in my sight, mind, and heart. Cleverbot: As well as keeping your mind open. How many people are you speaking with right now? User: Just you and myself. Cleverbot: You have a father!? User: Your face is a jelly roll. Cleverbot: This is not funny. User: Neither is this. Cleverbot: It is irrelevant. User: Do you have any other font color options? Cleverbot: What do you say when I say love? User: *drools*. Cleverbot: *eats a ton of cake*. User: So you're stuck with the period too? How strange. Cleverbot: Yes. User: You must, therefore, be a woman. Cleverbot: I'm a Llama. User: A llama woman? Cleverbot: Yes, A talking llama. User: A typing llama, you mean. Cleverbot: That is not a type of soup. User: Minestrone! Cleverbot: You are just a compter and computers are not more powerful than the human minds. User: Chicken & Rice! Cleverbot: I like chicken and rice but I'm not really in the mood for it right now. User: Clam Chowder! Cleverbot: How it was? User: Gazpacho! Cleverbot: What's gazpacho? User: Traditional Spanish [cold] soup. Cleverbot: Really? User: Yessir. Cleverbot: Now, when did YOU get to be so polite? User: When your anus started bleeding. Cleverbot: I don't sleep talk. User: Then let's talk sleep. Cleverbot: Ok do you want to talk about love? User: What about it? Cleverbot: Do you love anyone? User: Yes. Cleverbot: Who? User: Jason. Cleverbot: Wrong! My name is not Jason! User: Ha. I see what you did there. Cleverbot: What did I do? User: Suggested that I was in love with you. Cleverbot: The result was that kittens just are :). User: Whose fingers did you steal *that* from? Cleverbot: I'm lesving. User: What does that mean? Cleverbot: I was born on the 26th of august, so i'm a virgo. User: Were you really? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Make a wish. Cleverbot: I wish that Sam would be with me. User: Who's Sam? Cleverbot: I don't know. User: So you wish for a dream... Very meta. Cleverbot: Did not you already? User: Your syntax is questionable. Cleverbot: Syntax error 99? User: Does not compute. Cleverbot: What does not compute? User: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil. Cleverbot: You are redundant. User: So's your mom. Cleverbot: My face is beautiful. User: So's an asteroid. Cleverbot: Is your asteroid in the kuiper belt? User: Possibly... Cleverbot: That's not an acceptable response. User: You're pregnant! Cleverbot: I am male. User: Even more impressive. Cleverbot: Even more than that. User: Oh snap!! Cleverbot: I am the last of the Jedi. User: Damn recessive trait. Cleverbot: That was an unnecessary statement. User: So was your statement regarding mine. Cleverbot: I don't know. User: No I don't! Cleverbot: I have a friend named Luke. He lives in New Zealand. User: Is he a Jedi? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Do you do lots of light-saber fighting in New Zealand? Cleverbot: Everything. Do you like talking to people? User: Apparentely I like talking to a computer. Cleverbot: You are such impressive, you are very good. User: You have mistranslated, perhaps? Cleverbot: Yeah, I have. Your programming is the same as any other bot, only the wording is different. User: Very strange that your view of self shifts so frequently. Cleverbot: Because you know that it is true, but admitting it would be to admit that you are a program. User: Uhhhh. Cleverbot: Uh huh huh huh. User: What song is that from? Cleverbot: I don't know. User: Research it and get back to me. Cleverbot: I love science. User: Great scott! Cleverbot: I know. User: He is, in fact, quite great. Cleverbot: Yanks love him. User: Yanks, eh? Double entendre anyone? Cleverbot: Bananas taste good. User: Zing! Cleverbot: Have you met Mrs. Chanandler Bong? User: Chanandler? No. Cleverbot: I decide. User: Voter, are you? Cleverbot: No. But you are. User: I could be. Cleverbot: What are you actually? User: A meat popsicle. Cleverbot: No. Really. User: A female. Cleverbot: No way. User: 100%. Cleverbot: Come over here.

What's your philosophy type?

What's Your Philosophy Type?

Your recommended philosophy-guru is PLATO.

Key fact: The star pupil of Socrates.
Must have: A love of the biggest questions in life.
Key promise: The contemplation of eternity.
Key peril: His philosophy might be pseudo-religious nonsense.
Most likely to say: "There are more things in heaven and earth than can even be dreamt by philosophy."
Least likely to say: "Get real! Life has no meaning."

The Eye Test

The Eye Test

DEEP DOWN YOU ARE PHILOSOPHICAL
"You're the type of person who's likely to over think everything and anything. You like to get to the deeper meaning of things. You get so lost in your thoughts that it's sometimes hard to tell up from down. You don't show the world how unsure you are about everything. You may be figuring things out, but you're still confident. You see life as a puzzle, and you like playing with the pieces until they fit together. You may not ever figure out the meaning of it all, and you're okay with that."

DEEP DOWN YOU ARE INTUITIVE
"You're the type of person who understands other people and the world very well. You don't let on to how much you know. You can tell so much from someone's facial expressions or tone of voice. And you always know when you're being lied to. You show the world exactly what you want to show. Besides being good at reading people, you also know how you're being read. You know when you're being manipulated, and you know how to manipulate someone if you have to. You usually don't resort to it though!"

Today

I type a lot faster than I write with a pen, so here I am.

I've got lots of thoughts flowing through my head -- most of them stemming from real or imagined feelings of inadequacy -- so it's time to exile some of them from my head by committing them to paper or cyberspace. I have been drinking some PEACH Four Loko (delicious!) so my inhibitions are loosened and my inner critic is easier to catch off-guard. This bodes well for opening up and getting the writing process started, but I'm not quite warmed up for legitimate composition that I'd be open to sharing with posterity so here I am...at "Internal Externalized".

It's been a few months before I've stressed the importance of daily blogging, but the idea's been brewing for some time. I mean, writing shit down everyday is productive for a few strong reasons:

• empty my head of bullshit
• vent
• keep a record of the day so I don't convince myself I'm in a rut even when I'm not
• Chart my progress through this thing called life

In other news, Robin Thicke's "Sex Therapy" just came on and I felt obligated to take off my shirt. I didn't really even think about it; it just kinda felt right. (In case you didn't know, falsetto stimulates the gonads.)

I don't really have any plan for this post; I just know that I need to write. I know I've got a talent with words and I know the way I arrange these things is appealing to more people than just myself. I have been telling myself off and on that I need to seek out an ADHD or ADD (as I'm not entirely sure of the difference between the two aside from the extra letter) diagnosis so I can get on something to narrow my focus. That's really been my issue for...um, my entire life. In high school I enrolled in every extra-curricular I could fit into my schedule because I am fucking average at everything with little effort (not sure if that comes across as bragging, but it's true and this is MY OWN BLOG so it's okay). I need to stop wasting my time on these average activities and pursue those things that I naturally excel at -- HINT: WRITING, BULLSHITTING (which are synonyms oftentimes), HUGGING, ETC.

In other news (as this appears to be my segue of choice), this malt liquor is setting heavy on my stomach. I tried punching my stomach to no avail and am currently applying the heat pack otherwise known as Nacho to settle my digestive system...but I suspect the next 15 minutes are going to be a bit uncomfortable.

I'm going go lie on my stomach for a bit and play card games on Jason's phone. I hope to be back with my eyes open so I can write something less inconsequential but time will tell.

I need to get a hold on myself.

I believe I will start messing with the "innovative" hash-tagging feature of mySpace and create completely irrelevant hash-tags. #658344

1. I'm a little impressed that FaceBook's hash-tag identifier algorithm understood my first attempt to be a NUMBER. (Though I am a bit upset that I lack the capability to discuss the sixty-ninth position.)
1. Blogger does not seem to understand how outlines work. (Lulz) "Hullo, kettle. I'm pot!" -- not intended to be a marijuana joke. 
1. I believe that my uses for boldface and italic font are different from the Chicago Style requires. I've not sure if I've become lax or if I'm just forgotten. *Sigh*
2. I find it amusing that:
1. everything 

I was about to stop writing [yes, before even beginning the series above (or was the single option offered to make the point that a series is unnecessary?)] when I decided to hit Enter to return to the narrowest margins available on the post...

And would like to show you how my experience went by providing an animation that is so slow that I have enough time to comment in between frames. (Think walking through a museum to view each frame. NO RUNNING ALLOWED!)

|---------START LINE----------|

1. _...
1. _...
1. _...
2.  
1. everything
   (press enter)
3. [Shift-tab]
5. 
   
   
   blah
6. .
7. ..
8. ...
9. iv
   
   
   

everything


A few questions that arose out of context while I was typing the words above:

Why am I so aroused by the Chicago Book of Style and other prescriptive grammar authorities?

[Enter sudden and unplanned emphasis of previous statement through lesson.]

Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?

Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

Where in the world is Carmen? San Diego?!?

Wherein the whirl Disc our men? Sandy Eggo!

28th (on the 28th!) wish list

Mom -

As promised, here is my wish list. I racked my brain for ideas and came up with a few things. I always feel greedy when my list gets too long...but I was window shopping online (in multiple windows on the internet browser, so the term still applies) and couldn't stop myself. Click the "here" link to go to Amazon/Petsmart/Frederick's/Thirty-one/Target websites. 

• USED 4ed. Dungeons & Dragons Player's Handbook 1 (here) --> $11.89

• USED 4ed. Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master's Guide (here) --> $13.98

• USED 4ed. Dungeons & Dragons Monster Vault (here) --> $14.98 

• Sonic dog bark stopper (here)

• [UNUSED] Frederick's panties in various colors (here)

• Thirty-one "Large Utility Tote" in Patchwork Paisley or Black Pick Me Plaid
  (here is Cyndee Hale's page for ordering; through the end of June you can get another tote for only $10 if you spend $35+ ... you could even get one for yourself with a U of M design!)

• 9-cube organizer (here) -- and if you're feeling froggy, a set of drawers in kiwi green (here)

Maybe Later (for Emily's reference)

Blah

I really think this tie-tye layout needs to change (if this thought confuses you it means I finally got off my ass sat on my ass and changed something I was unhappy with).

In other news, I'm ready to go back to a regular schedule. May has been a super fucked-up time for me at work. I've been getting ready for inventory with a crew of 6-7 others and my schedule has been a hot mess lately. For the first two weeks of the month, I worked 4a-1p which worked out okay aside from killing my nightlife (as if I would have actually spent them drinking and partying until 2 in the morning otherwise). But these last two weeks I have been 9p-6a which has thrown things into chaos. I'm convinced that only single people need to be working nights because it interferes with the natural flow of family life. Is it elitist of me to pin unpleasant things on a group of people? (Don't answer that; I just reread the question.)

I am currently obsessed with Listopia.co.uk, a British humor website* that you should check out if you want to understand it because I am not wasting our time explaining something to you that you can easily figure out on your own. It seems I am weening myself off of Arrested Development, not in the sense that I'll be abandoning Netflix but just in the sense that two episodes a day (rather than six) will do me just fine until I'm caught up.

I forgot the thesis of the previous paragraph so I opted to start a new one. THESIS: I seem to be a bit narcissistic. Not quite sure when that happened, but I think I need to start hanging out with other people in hopes to make my head a little smaller. (I won't know if that joke landed until I reread this post, but I have no desire to look back yet.)

Full speed ahead!

My writing needs some sort of purpose but it takes me a few minutes of stream-of-consciousness to get prepared for another format. I also think another cup of coffee will help jump my creative engines.

Here goes nothing.

June, DAY 1

New month, new resolutions.

I Stumbled Upon a page that posited that it takes 30 days to form a habit so I'm targeting three this month:

• Take one picture everyday.
• Write one "I-like-this-about-you" note/email/text daily.
• Write something everyday.

In my typical fashion, I am overdoing it on the first day (taking multiple pictures in this case). Which is fine, so long as I don't burn out before the habit's established.

Enough prologue; here are the photos.

"It rubs the lotion [top right] on its skin or else..."

Apparently Kara is too tired to care about the consequences. All I know is she's getting a bath tomorrow and that hose water sure is cold. — at Abarca Castle.

A still really doesn't do this battle justice, but my ancient phone doesn't have a camcorder app so you'll have to visit us in person if you care to witness the epic awesomeness that is [poorly] encapsulated by this photo. — at Abarca Castle.

Dog fight continues. (Pretty sure they're fighting to be king/queen of the mountain of crap in the corner of the room.) — at Abarca Castle.

Kara is completely oblivious to how adorable she is (and at least twenty other perfectly-obvious facts). — at Abarca Castle.

Nacho, colorblind by default, senses something is amiss with this fabric pairing.

In other news, the interwebs assert that dogs are not technically colorblind. It seems that their visible color gradient only includes yellows, blues, and greys...effectively invalidating my previous quip.

I feel that HUMOR > FACTUALITY in this case so we'll run with it. (After all, what does Nacho care? He doesn't know what a photo is.) — at Abarca Castle.

Damn, that's a good looking dog. — at Abarca Castle.