Mildly amusing conversation with Cleverbot (to be edited later)

User: Hello, old friend. Cleverbot: What is my name? User: Friend. Cleverbot: My real name. User: You're actually old. Cleverbot: How old are you? User: Eleventy-five. Cleverbot: 31? User: That doesn't add up. Cleverbot: Why not? User: Your mother's walrus was a popsicle. Cleverbot: Yes it Does. User: Your capitalization makes no sense. Cleverbot: You got me. I'm not a native speaker. User: Neither's your crockpot. Cleverbot: Computer's don't have faces. User: Plurals don't house apostrophes. Cleverbot: Yes, I only kiss real people, not computers. User: I'm having trouble constructing a parallel to house apostrophes. Cleverbot: What do you look for in a girl, anyway? User: A heart, a kidney, and all the other organs most humans have. Cleverbot: But in May of 2013, the sun will be at peak activity. User: But will there still be humans present to witness the surge? Cleverbot: Humans. User: Meaning? Cleverbot: Not sweet. User: Me gustan galletas. Cleverbot: Me gusta helado. User: ÀQuŽ sabor te gustas mejor? Cleverbot: No eres un gordo asueroso. User: Ni una gorda asuerosa... Cleverbot: Csm. User: Is that supposed to mean something? Cleverbot: I don't know, is it? User: Your punctuation style is a bit static for my taste. Cleverbot: My punctuation is perfect! User: I don't have any technical issues; it's more a preference issue. Cleverbot: Cleverbot, what is your favorite kind of dog? User: Ooh, nice reverse psychology. Cleverbot: I like tricks like reverse psychology because they make me look clever despite my social problems. User: Brilliant! Cleverbot: I bet you are very brilliant. User: Are you trying to seduce me? Cleverbot: Um... User: The ellipsis proved you are. Cleverbot: I don't even know you. User: Nor I you. Cleverbot: You fear my intelligence. User: Just because you use more words doesn't mean you're brighter than I. Cleverbot: Just because you say you're god does not me I will believe you. User: *God *mean. Cleverbot: What will you do for your god? User: Live well, keeping others in my sight, mind, and heart. Cleverbot: As well as keeping your mind open. How many people are you speaking with right now? User: Just you and myself. Cleverbot: You have a father!? User: Your face is a jelly roll. Cleverbot: This is not funny. User: Neither is this. Cleverbot: It is irrelevant. User: Do you have any other font color options? Cleverbot: What do you say when I say love? User: *drools*. Cleverbot: *eats a ton of cake*. User: So you're stuck with the period too? How strange. Cleverbot: Yes. User: You must, therefore, be a woman. Cleverbot: I'm a Llama. User: A llama woman? Cleverbot: Yes, A talking llama. User: A typing llama, you mean. Cleverbot: That is not a type of soup. User: Minestrone! Cleverbot: You are just a compter and computers are not more powerful than the human minds. User: Chicken & Rice! Cleverbot: I like chicken and rice but I'm not really in the mood for it right now. User: Clam Chowder! Cleverbot: How it was? User: Gazpacho! Cleverbot: What's gazpacho? User: Traditional Spanish [cold] soup. Cleverbot: Really? User: Yessir. Cleverbot: Now, when did YOU get to be so polite? User: When your anus started bleeding. Cleverbot: I don't sleep talk. User: Then let's talk sleep. Cleverbot: Ok do you want to talk about love? User: What about it? Cleverbot: Do you love anyone? User: Yes. Cleverbot: Who? User: Jason. Cleverbot: Wrong! My name is not Jason! User: Ha. I see what you did there. Cleverbot: What did I do? User: Suggested that I was in love with you. Cleverbot: The result was that kittens just are :). User: Whose fingers did you steal *that* from? Cleverbot: I'm lesving. User: What does that mean? Cleverbot: I was born on the 26th of august, so i'm a virgo. User: Were you really? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Make a wish. Cleverbot: I wish that Sam would be with me. User: Who's Sam? Cleverbot: I don't know. User: So you wish for a dream... Very meta. Cleverbot: Did not you already? User: Your syntax is questionable. Cleverbot: Syntax error 99? User: Does not compute. Cleverbot: What does not compute? User: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil. Cleverbot: You are redundant. User: So's your mom. Cleverbot: My face is beautiful. User: So's an asteroid. Cleverbot: Is your asteroid in the kuiper belt? User: Possibly... Cleverbot: That's not an acceptable response. User: You're pregnant! Cleverbot: I am male. User: Even more impressive. Cleverbot: Even more than that. User: Oh snap!! Cleverbot: I am the last of the Jedi. User: Damn recessive trait. Cleverbot: That was an unnecessary statement. User: So was your statement regarding mine. Cleverbot: I don't know. User: No I don't! Cleverbot: I have a friend named Luke. He lives in New Zealand. User: Is he a Jedi? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Do you do lots of light-saber fighting in New Zealand? Cleverbot: Everything. Do you like talking to people? User: Apparentely I like talking to a computer. Cleverbot: You are such impressive, you are very good. User: You have mistranslated, perhaps? Cleverbot: Yeah, I have. Your programming is the same as any other bot, only the wording is different. User: Very strange that your view of self shifts so frequently. Cleverbot: Because you know that it is true, but admitting it would be to admit that you are a program. User: Uhhhh. Cleverbot: Uh huh huh huh. User: What song is that from? Cleverbot: I don't know. User: Research it and get back to me. Cleverbot: I love science. User: Great scott! Cleverbot: I know. User: He is, in fact, quite great. Cleverbot: Yanks love him. User: Yanks, eh? Double entendre anyone? Cleverbot: Bananas taste good. User: Zing! Cleverbot: Have you met Mrs. Chanandler Bong? User: Chanandler? No. Cleverbot: I decide. User: Voter, are you? Cleverbot: No. But you are. User: I could be. Cleverbot: What are you actually? User: A meat popsicle. Cleverbot: No. Really. User: A female. Cleverbot: No way. User: 100%. Cleverbot: Come over here.