Pissed off with no other forum

okay so here i am trapping myself into the box of WORD OF THE DAY and i can't seem to find any inspiration. and i tell myself, hey, maybe i need a different format so i try something trite but still engaging - iambic pentameter. yes, i'm rusty but it gives me some ground underneath my feet to start from. but i fail at that - and not just because the words are overused and overplayed....but because i have no inspiration. and then my roommate's puppy wakes up downstairs and climbs all the way upstairs and whines and whines and i try to turn my music up louder but that just impedes the writing process because i cannot hear my thoughts. and then marley - the puppy - begins to bark louder and louder every second. and i can hear her over my music. so i yell. louder and louder every second. and i turn off the music thinking she's stopped. but she starts right back up. and i yell again to no avail. so i go downstairs and i yell at a stupid defenseless dog because she's getting older and she still pees and poops and whines and some part of me expects her to be an adult NOW. and i don't really know what cesar milan the dog whisperer would say about dog development but it's a legitimate need in my mind for this dog to shut the fuck up even if her biological clock hasn't quite made it past 3 o'clock. and somehow, after yelling at her to go back downstairs and slamming the door, i return to the silence i've been craving. but coming back up the stairs to my room and my computer i realize i cannot calm down enough to stick to a structured piece of crap poem ... no i want to hear the furious cracking of my fingers upon the keyboard. part of me wants to break the keyboard by typing too loud because everything is piling up. and then my phone makes it's doodly-doo sound that is so ironic in my current mood and i embrace my anger. i need to acknowledge the fact that i'm mad. it's not just a little dog because i know for a fact that the first thing i wanted to do when i woke up this morning was let her out and cuddle her before i went to school. (don't really know why i didn't to be honest - probably a time issue). i'm mad at my friends, my job, the irritating blending of the two. i'm mad at money problems. i'm mad at the economy. i'm mad at the fact that i wasted (though in a better mood i would talk that away - say some crap about the time teaching me something and making me a better person) three years of my life studying a subject i had no interest in aside from the fact that i could do it with my eyes closed. i'm mad that i wasted four or five (i don't really know for sure and to go back and reason out the timeline would interrupt my rant) years of my life with a man that i full well knew was no good for me, forsaking my family and cutting off ties that HE told me to - even if he didn't always vocalize it he was a manipulating bastard. and i'm mad at myself for even bringing this into the post, as the real issue right now is the fact that stupid immature idiotic people at work are making life a living hell for a woman who is my second mother. a damn girl who i was at one point dumb enough to let into my life and call my roommate is a conniving bitch and she and her propaganda machine are trying their damndest to get my Carol kicked out of a job she's held for five years without any complaints from customers or associates anywhere. and then all the sudden this shit hits the fan and she's at the brink of tears because she's so depressed with the situation and the sudden turn of events. and she cannot stand to be there unless i'm the head cashier on duty because everyone else is just two-faced and backstabbing. and now i'm crying because i'm probably on the brink of my period (TMI? IDFC!!) and i can't find my inner voice and i can't find my chi i can't calm down because i can't fucking handle the machinations of this world and i don't know where i'm going here. i've got an awesome fiance (it's amazing how much the wrong guy will teach you about the right one) and he knows the parties involved (allies, enemies, bullshit, etc.) and he's mad too. but he didn't see her bottom lip tremble. he didn't see the tears welling up in her eyes. he didn't see this damn place crumble to the ground when the morals that held it up were torn out from underneath it. this place used to be home.